Bullying

Everyone involved in caring for children shares responsibility for countering bullying and for creating a culture which positively encourages acceptable behaviour and reduces or prevents the likelihood of bullying.

The Children's Guide will also contain information and advice on dealing with bullying.

Foster carers should look out for signs of bullying and should take steps to prevent it.

Your Safer Caring Plan should address bullying and cover:

• Putting in place clear rules within the house that bullying is not acceptable and what actions will be taken if you suspect bullying or are told of bullying happening;
• Making it clear to children what is acceptable behaviour including how we talk and speak with other people and how we react and respond to others;
• Providing opportunities for children to think about the issue of bullying e.g. writing stories or poems or drawing pictures about bullying;
• Having discussions about bullying and why it matters;
• Being good role models as foster carers.

Many children who are looked after experience bullying at school, in the local area and sometimes from other children who you are also caring for.

Bullying can include:

• Emotional - being unfriendly, excluding, tormenting (e.g. hiding possessions, threatening gestures);
• Physical - pushing, kicking, hitting, punching or any use of violence;
• Racist - racial taunts, graffiti, gestures;
• Sexual - unwanted physical contact or sexually abusive comments and harassment;
• Homophobic or remarks about gender identity - because of, or focusing on the issue of sexuality;
• Verbal - name-calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, teasing;
• Cyberbullying - e.g. using mobile phones or social networking sites to intimidate or bully others.

See also: School and Education Procedure, Safeguarding in Schools and Internet, Photographs and Mobile Phones Procedure.

Some signs of bullying can be:

• Not wanting to go to school;
• Unexplained bruises;
• Torn clothing;
• Need for extra money;
• Continually losing belongings;
• Problems sleeping;
• Sudden loss of appetite;
• Problems at nursery/school/ college/ or where they live;
• Withdrawn behaviour or temper tantrums;
• Unusually hungry at the end of the school day (lunch money being taken);
• Rushing to the bathroom after school (fear of going to the school toilets);
• Self harming;
• Extreme emotions.

The bullying may be because:

• The child/young person feels and/or appears different. School life can highlight difference, they may arrive at school by taxi, they may not be able to take part in after school clubs, and they may be withdrawn from some lessons to attend meetings. (We should all takes steps to reduce these issues for the child/young person);
• The child/young person may not be achieving as well as others in their class;
• The child/young person may have had lots of moves of carer or school;
• The child/young person may not have a friendship group;
• The child/young person  may not want others to know that they are a child who does not live at home with their parents;
• The child/young person may feel isolated and think they have no-one to talk to at school;
• Difficult and distressing life experiences may have left the child/young person with poor self-esteem and a lack of coping mechanisms.

If you have any concerns that incidents of bullying have happened between children within your care or that a child/young person may be a victim of bullying or is being a bully, you must discuss this with your fostering social worker, who should advise you on what actions are necessary to reduce or prevent it. You must also inform the child’s social worker.

When bullying occurs within your home it may be appropriate to call a meeting, preferably with the child or children, to discuss ways to prevent or reduce the bullying.

The outcomes of the meeting may include the following:

• The child/young person who is seen as displaying ‘bullying’ behaviours may be asked to apologise;
• In serious cases, some form of sanction/consequences will be considered;
• If possible, the children should be encouraged to make friends;
• After the incident has been dealt with, you should monitor the situation to make sure that bullying does not happen again.

If the bullying continues or is serious, the child's social worker should be consulted as soon as possible and it may be necessary to conduct a Placement Planning Meeting or a referral may be required under the Child Protection Referrals Procedure and a Strategy Meeting should be arranged.

You must record all incidents of bullying of the child who is the alleged victim and the child who is the alleged bully.

What to do if you think a child/young person you care for is bullying or being bullied:

• Give time and space daily to the child/young person to check how things are going for them and encourage them to talk about their day, seeking to identify whether things are better, if it continues to feel the same or feels worse for them;
• Continue to act on the advice from the child’s social worker and other professionals on ways to help build the child’s self-esteem;
• Help the child/young person think about what to say to help explain why they are living with you rather than their parents/family;
• Encourage friendships and invite school friends’ home. There is strength in numbers and this will help the child/young person to feel a sense of belonging. Bullies may target a child who is alone;
• Build coping skills together and try to take a problem-solving approach. Talk about different situations and practice what you might do;
• Do not reject a child who is a bully. Explain how the behaviour makes other children unhappy and help them develop other ways to feel better about themselves and to express how they feel;
• Give the child praise each time they help you or are kind to someone;
• Speak to the child’s social worker and make an arrangement for both of you to see the child’s class teacher or year head. (This may need other people to support you and therefore to be discussed within the care team meetings);
• Make sure that you and the other people are good role models.

Children can be reluctant to report bullying for fear of reprisal or because they think they will not be listened to. You must make a point of talking to children about bullying in order to help them report it. This conversation should part of daily life to remove any barriers to a child/young person seek help from you.

When a child/young person says they do not like something which another child/young person, or adult is doing/saying to them, they must be listened to and taken seriously. Even if you do not view the action as serious, the child/young person may and we must show care and acknowledge their feelings. This will support the child/young person to talk about what life feels like for them.