Support to your own Children

Foster carers’ own children play an important part in the success of fostering, often being the ones who welcome a new child into the home and help them to settle in.

But sharing their home and parents with another child/young person can be hard and foster carers' own children need support to deal with the daily challenges of growing up in a fostering family. Discussions will need to take place about behaviour for everyone, what is acceptable and what is not.

Your children, depending on their age, should be part of developing the Safer Caring Plan so that everyone is clear on the boundaries of everyday life to make sure everybody feels safe. See: Developing a Safer Caring Plan.

When children don’t get the support they need, there is more likely to be an unplanned ending for the child being cared for by you , which leads to more instability for them. See The Child I am Caring For is Leaving in an Unplanned Way.

You may get disagreements between your own children and the child being cared for by you  but also fun friendships and memory making for the whole family.

When you consider taking a child, always think about how this child will fit with your family, you can discuss any questions you may have with your s fostering social worker. They will want to get to know your children so they feel that they can have their say and that they have somewhere else to turn to if needed.

Remember it is important for you to spend time with your own children, think about a family planner where you agree times, dates and activities you will do with your own children and the child cared for by you. These can be separately and at times together.

Look out for early signs of problems arising and talk to your child and the child you are caring for, speak to your s fostering social worker during your supervision meetings or before that if it won’t wait. You may also look for general advice from other foster carers.

If you feel an issue is getting worse and you need some support, don’t leave it and always record any relevant information.

You children will also be able to feed into your Foster Care Review. Their lived experiences  are equally as important and can celebrate some success.